If Jeffrey Dahmer moonlighted as an interior decorator, this would be his masterpiece. The âmaster bedroomâ had a curtain instead of a door (romance-killer), and the bathroom? Oh, just a MUSHROOM growing out of the wall AND the door doesn't close or latch.Letâs not forget the giant hole next to the electrical panel COVERED by a picture like some Scooby-Doo secret passage â except instead of treasure, it revealed acorns and evidence of animal squatters. Fire hazard? Check. Possible asbestos poisoning? Double check.The listing promised âcharm.â What we got was black mold vibes, sagging ceilings that looked ready to cave in after the next storm, and furniture strategically placed to hide giant carpet stains (I donât even want to guess). âMemorable momentsâ? Sure â in the way food poisoning is memorable.The kicker? VRBO rated this property an 8 out of 10. Excuse me⊠what? Unless the rating scale runs from âabandoned crack denâ to âtechnically inhabitable,â that number makes no sense.We left as soon as we could. The host did move us to a safe, clean property (thank you), but we lost the very amenities we booked for (waterfront hot tub), wasted a full vacation day packing, driving, and unpacking again â not exactly the relaxing trip we had in mind. Attempts to âmake it rightâ were met with dismissive comments and silence.One positive? The view was great. But trust me â you can find the same view without risking black mold, fire hazards, or accidental wildlife roommates.